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HT Vodkapundit » WTF?.

But just because I’ve never been to one, doesn’t mean I couldn’t develop a pretty decent idea of what one might be like. Here’s a brief snippet of one possible conversation:

Bill: Hey Fred, welcome to my Obama house party!

Fred: O, thanks, Fred. I brought some `Baraccoli` salad [chuckles] and some `husseinsational` brownies for dessert!

Fred: OOO SNAP!

[chuckles all around]..

Bill: [still suppressing some chuckles] Brilliant! I’m sure they will go great with the `Michellefish` sampler Joe brought…

[chuckles all around]..

Fred: Brilliant!

Bill: O, hey Joe!

Joe: Hey, wow, isn’t this great… I mean, why didn’t we think of this before… our wives always have parties for their tupperware or longenberger basket-thingees, I think its about time we threw our own party to celebrate the change that we need for this country..

Bill: Ya, DEFINITELY… we need change, that’s for sure….

Fred: Toootally… for real… I mean, like, if we don’t get any change, than, things will just go on being, like, the same..

Joe: uh, YAAA, that’s what I was saying.

Fred: Totally!

Bill: Ya, Fred, you are SO right.

Joe: well, enough with the deep political chit-chat… Seriously, just thinking about Barack makes me hungry! I can’t wait for the [raises eyebrows and intonation] OBAMAlets!!!

[a round of 'O, snaps!' followed by chuckles all around]..

–END OF CONVERSATION–

Man, ohh man… gag me with a fork… Can you just imagine the left-coast, elitist atmosphere at one of these events? Furthermore, are these ridiculous meet-ups going to have ANY impact on people’s opinions OTHER THAN to make them more quickly associate Obama with Food? This is just a few cards short of a workable campaign idea if you ask me.

Feb. 19, 2006 — Nothing says “I love Denmark” like a fat middle-aged Jew in a Viking Helmet. Also, just found out from an Iranian friend that the thumbs up hand signal has special meaning in the Mid-East. Apparently it is the equivalent of flipping someone the bird. Take that Islamo-Fascists!

[Hilldog]:  Of course, Joel.  Thanks for having me on your show.

[Me]:  Ok, let me start by reading portions of your latest op-ed in the Wall Street Journal.  You begin by saying: 

Throughout my campaign, I have been listening to the voices of people across America. 

A great introduction.  The message is clearly that you not, in fact, an ideaologue, but a reasonable person who has been molded by the input of thousands of common Americans.  You continue:

I met one man who told me, “I don’t know what I did wrong.  I got my education and I worked hard.  I’ve been at the same company for 12 years now, but I’ve just been asked to train my successor because my job is moving to another country.”

Before I let you jump in here I must say; what a great followup to a great introduction.  Here we immediately are exposed to the stereotypical plight of the common man in it’s utter horror.   Playing on a reader’s emotions for their common man is a sure-fire way to garnish sympathy for a cause.  

[Hilldog]: Yes, Joel; there are just so many people out there that are hurting because of evil corporations.  I think you would agree with me that the French model forbidding firing is clearly the better model. 

[me]: You continue:

Another woman said to me, “I just can’t make ends meet.  My health care premiums have doubled, college tuition is up.  How am I supposed to make it as a single mom?”

Never forget to include plight of the single mothers out there.  Powerful stuff.  A man loosing his job of 12 years, a mom who’s health care premiums doubled… it’s truely horrible.  

But… dare I ask why this man should be guaranteed a job by his current employer?  (the implication is that the employee is owed more).  Why shouldn’t the woman pay the fair market rate for health care?  Why is she footing the bill for her child’s education when other alternatives such as scholarships, loans, and work-study are available for her daughter?  It’s just that none of these questions are presented for our consideration. 

[Hilldog]:  Well DUH!  Why would I want people thinking beyond the immediate problems in our society?  This kind of stuff doesn’t require my constituients to think, only act on emotion.  I don’t have the highest popularilty among the uneducated by accident, you know.

[me]:  Good point, I hadn’t considered that.  You really know how to appeal to your base, that’s for sure.  Ok, moving on.  You discuss in your article the reasons why you want to be president.  You write: 

I am running for president to bring those voices to the White House and give people a chance to achieve the American Dream: having a good job, owning their own home and living with financial security.  That means tackling our toughest challenges–rising inequality, stagnating wages and a growing sense that too many middle class families are just one pink slip away from financial devastation. 

so, are you saying there are no personal reasons why you are running for office?

[Hilldog]: Re-capturing the power of the oval office?  I resent the implication!  No, it is for your voices to be heard, for the realization of the American dream that I run!  Terrorism, bah!  Iranian Nukes, meh!  9.2 trillion in federal debt, merely a diversion from our real challenges my good fellow!  Yes, I truly believe the hardest thing we can overcome as a nation is our “sense” of impending financial doom.  

[Me]:  Hilldog, you always move me when your voice gets all harsh and raspy like that!  And to think I had been blinded to this the past eight years…. DAMN YOU BUSH for diverting my attention with this silly war!!!! Of course, why didn’t I see it before, it’s so clear… we are all just one pink slip away from ruin!  utter RUIN!  Where out thou.. my savings… my 401k… my matched stock purchase options… my overtime pay… o the humanity!

Now, I find your economic plan to be very intersting.  You write: 

My measure of economic success will never be a single, dry statistic. Rather, success means an economy that allows those at the bottom to work their way into the middle class, without pushing anyone out.  It means leaving people better off when I finish then when I start.  In short, success means an economy that shares its prosperity with all. 

If I read you correctly, it doesn’t matter how badly the economy suffers, just as long as your social ends are achieved.  The Dow at 10 thousand,  Unemployment at 7%? Merely some of those dry statistics that don’t really matter… right?

[Hilldog]: That’s right, Joel.  I’m just a girl and not very good with numbers.  You know that.

[me]:  Of course.  my bad.  Now, Hilldog, I love how you’ve laid out this economic plan even though you admit you don’t pay attention to the numbers.  You say:

In the 1990s we saw how smart economic plans could help spur the economy to create 22 million new jobs and income growth across the board.  For the past seven years we’ve seen the opposite.  Corporate earnings have been impressive, but the average income of workers has declined.  They ypical household is paying $2,000 more in enery costs.  Health care is nearly twice as expensive, with the number of uninsured rising to 47 million.  Five million Americans have fallen into poverty.

Yes, we all remember how “smart” the 1990’s were.   Don’t you just have nostalgia for the days of the tech bubble?  Ahh yes, to be able to fudge the accounting books without the formalities of Sarbans-Oxley… those were the good-o’l days.

[Hilldog]:  (laughing hysterically).  Yes, weren’t those the best times?!  You know, Bill and I made so much money off that Yahoo! stock… it put us in the top income bracket!  But don’t hold that against me… I am truely a woman of the people.

And furthermore, Energy costs are truely having their toll on the average American.  However, my energy plan involves a complete transition from gas-guzzlers to hybrid vehicles.  You’ll spend $8k more on the  car, but don’t worry… you’ll cut that 2 grand in energy savings by a couple hundred dollars… easy.  Don’t let those conservative types give you any BS about increasing the supply of oil by drilling in ANWAR or the need for more reasonable environmental regulations… they’re just ignorant. 

[Me]: Ya, they’re just ignorant… super ignorant even.  Now, here’s where you really get down and dirty… attacking the BUSH administration… oooo…  let me quote you.  You say: 

Because of the Bush administration’s neglect, the forces of globalization and technological change–which should represent opportunities for economic growth–have weakened America’s great middle class.  

Simply put, since 2001, our economy has failed the shared prosperity test, and we need decisive, experienced leadership to get us back on the right track.

As president, I will not hesitate to take swift, bold action to address our immediate challenges, starting with a strong stimulus package and a comprehensive solution to our housing crisis.  And I will have a long-term economic plan that creates jobs, strengthens the middle class, and allows everyone to share in our economic growth. 

What a great use of language I must say. 

[Hilldog]: (chuckle) Yes, if I am your president, I will continue to confuse amaze you with the superfluous use of the latest lingo and catch phrases (my internal polling confirms this ability, fyi).  I mean, look at what is in that paragraph:

• “Globalization”
• “Change”
• “Opportunity”
• “Great Middle Class”
• “Shared Prosperity”
• “Leadership”
• “Swift”
• “Bold”
• “Action”
• “Challanges”
• “Stimulus”
• “Comprehensive”
• “Cricis plan”
• “Jobs” and
• “Middle Class” (did I already mention that one) 

That’s, like, 3.5 catchy words per sentence.  Not bad, eh?

[Me]:  Truely brilliant, Hilldog.  Now, help me understand what you mean by “no new bureaucracies” in the following paragraph.  You say, 

American families don’t need new government bureaucracies;  they need new tools to help them climb the economic ladder.  This begins with health care, because rising costs erode workers’ savings, make insurance less affordable, put businesses at a competitive disadvantage, and threaten our fiscal future.  

And let’s be clear:  Unless we cover all Americans, we will never end the hidden tax that the uninsured pass on to the rest of us when they end up in the emergency room and we wind up footing the bill.  

[Hilldog]: Well, Joel… “Tools” just sounds so much better then “Bureaucracy”, doesn’t it?  (never mind that new tools will require bureaucracy.)  Just because we don’t need it doesn’t mean we won’t get it anyway; I didn’t mean to imply I wouldn’t create new bureaucracies, only that we don’t need them in the same way we need food, or health care.  

Furthermore I hope I can extend this approach to other areas of our economy… cars cost too much… so do computers… rent is also unbearable.  I am in favor of forcing the market to lower prices on everything!  If you think lower health care costs are a financial boost?  You aint seen nothing yet.

[Me]: In all fairness, when you mention the “hidden tax” we all pay, are you sure the extra costs of insuring everyone will be less then the tax imposed by uninsured emergency-room visits?  Its just that, you haven’t provided any data to support…. (gets cut off)

[Hilldog]:  Don’t go there, Joel.

[Me]: Right, my apologies, Hilldog.  Anyway, you mention John Edwards next:

I thank John Edwards for his role in making poverty a central focus of this campaign.  Ensuring that all Americans, especially our children, have a decent life is central to the goal of shared prosperity…. 

We will fight for universal pre-school to close gaps in cognitive development.  We will improve our schools by ending the unfunded mandate known as No Child Left Behind, investing in mentoring programs for at-risk middle schoolers, and cutting the black and Hispanic high-school drop out rate in half.

This is shrewd politics right here.  You basically take credit for all of Edward’s hard work!

[Hilldog]: Right! Notice how you just gloss over that language. You pick these skills up after 20 years in politics, you know.  Obama can’t touch me there.

[me]: but seriously, how are you going to cut rates in half? 

[Hilldog]: What a silly question!  Cut me some slack here… It’s ME.. remember?  I’ll figure it out… don’t you worry.

[Me]: Well, we are coming up on a commercial break… stay tuned, we’ll be right back! Stay tuned for part 2 of this fabulous interview!

However, Not every blogger follows this approach.

‘I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy’ (emphasis added)

One can only imagine Biden said this because Obama impressed this upon him–and, one could also conclude that such an opinion was impressed because of the uniqueness (in Biden’s mind) of the quality in question… namely Obama’s cleanliness.

Now, Biden is getting SOME slack for this comment, but I think it would be helpful to remember the comparative slack given to another Senator who said the following words.

“I want to say this about my state: When Strom Thurmond ran for president, we voted for him. We’re proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn’t have had all these problems over all these years, either,”

Trent Lott, former Senate majority leader, was forced to resign his post because of those words. Not only do they not even mention blacks in any way, but they were said in the context of wishing a very old and feeble man a happy birthday… and yet Lott was crucified for their utterance–by Democrats, by the media, by blacks across the country.

I wonder though, and perhaps you could answer the questions yourself:

• Which statement is more overtly racist?
• Has the media held Biden to the same standards as they held Lott, or have they quickly forgotten the story?
• Who behaved better, Senate Democrats in the Lott case or Senate Republicans in the Biden case? Who was more ruthless in their attacks?

These questions bring to mind another interesting quote. During the Lott fiasco, many Democrats thought that Lott should be “censured” for such a comment. The eerie silence of Democrats in this case isn’t surprising. They quickly forgive racism if its one of their own, but exalt their own moral superiority when it is convenient to do so (one needs go no farther than their tolerance of Robert Byrd). They protect and forgive for overt acts of racism but call for blood when race isn’t even uttered. The media is no better.

But all things being equal, I doubt Biden actually meant anything racist by his comments… and Lott probably didn’t either. Were it not for a troubling double standard applied to Republicans, this post might have been much different. Is “clean” really a racially charged word? Is calling someone “ghetto” or “white trash” any better? Do we not all hear those vernacular regularly without even a second thought to their racial overtones? This media episode points out the sensitivity, insecurity, and fealty to the gospel of political correctness everyone in Washington seems to suffer from–and it kinda makes mes sick!