Category Archives: humor

What spending problem?!

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Here’s an interesting Reuters Article.  Turns out Illinois is on the verge of “financial disaster”.

(Reuters) – Illinois is “on the verge of a financial disaster” as payments on the state’s debt have skyrocketed, Treasurer Dan Rutherford said on Monday.

Illinois faces an estimated $45 billion in principal and interest payments on its outstanding debt over the next 25 years, up nearly four-fold from the $12 billion owed in 2002, according to a position paper from the Republican treasurer, who took office in January.

Adding to the state’s debt burden is $140 billion in unfunded pension and retiree health-care liabilities and $8 billion of currently unpaid bills, the paper said.

Um, did that last line stand out to anyone else?  $140 BILLION dollars in unfunded public union pension and health care liabilities? How can THAT be?  I keep hearing from all my liberal friends how its NOT the public unions that are bankrupting state governments?!  *thinks to myself… heaven forbid we have some limitations collective bargaining rights.*

Wait just a minute… I got ahead of myself there.  If I were a good liberal… I might say something like this:  ”140 billion dollars!  Thats nothing to be concerned about. In fact, I resent the accusation that this is even a spending problem.  Simpletons like you might look at this unfunded liability and get all scared, thinking its because we are spending too much… but to those of us in elite circles… this is clearly a revenue issue, not a spending issue. Obviously the state of Illinois is letting the public keep too much money… and we need to raise taxes in order to cover the shortfall.  What’s that you say? We already raised income tax rates 66% in January to avoid this disaster?  Oh, well, obviously there hasn’t been enough time for the revenue to pour in.   The important thing here is that the people of Illinois aren’t paying enough to support our vision of a social utopia.  What’s that you say?  Child poverty rates are 30% in Chicago?  We’ve got the highest poverty rate of African Americans in the country?  Well… obviously we just need to get more of those people in public unions so they can make more money and have better retirement benefits… raising them out of poverty through government jobs.  See! Don’t doubt me… we’ve got this social equality thing all worked out.

via Illinois on verge of financial disaster: treasurer | Reuters.

not titled

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From last week’s Wall Street Journal:

Children from wealthy households get all the advantages that money can buy, from music lessons to SAT tutors.  Although parents might fret over the details of such advantages — is it better to play the piano or the violin? — these details are mostly insignificant, subject to the law of dimishing returns.

[*thinks to myself*] good thing I covered both bases…

soccer for newbies

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Don’t read this article if you are a soccer fan:

Singing and conga drums are also important elements of soccer. The stands of a World Cup match are like a nightclub, but there is more nudity and drinking. Out on the field, players are fond of removing their shirts after scoring. This might be the best part of soccer. In real life, most people undress, then score. In soccer, it is the other way around.

When the game is over, the team that loses often riots. So does the team that wins. You can usually tell when a game is over — when guys in funny helmets start yelling for the tear gas and the gauze.

via A World Cup primer for soccer newbies – latimes.com.