There isn’t alot to say about Jarman’s “Book of Poisonous Quotes”… other than it is a great resource to guarantee you have a witty remark for almost any occasion. Fortunately, I’ve been keeping track of my favorites and wanted to share them all with you:
On Critics:
I love criticism just so long as it’s unqualified praise. – Noel Coward- Any fool can criticize, and many of them do. – C. Garbett
- Critics are probably more prone to cliches than fiction writers who pluck things out of the air. – Penelope Gilliatt
- Criticism is prejudice made plausible – H.L. Mencken
On the Creative Arts / Fashion:
- Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. – Bill Vaughan
- On Miniskirts – Never in the history of fashion has so little material been raised so high to reveal so much that needs to be covered so badly. – Sir Cecil Beaton
- A Dress has no purpose unless it makes a man want to take it off. – Francoise Sagan
- If you have to talk about fashion, then you are not in it – Michaele Vollbracht.
- There will be little change in men’s pockets this year. – Wall Street Journal (1948)
On Modern Art:
- Modern art is when you buy a picture to cover a hole in the wall and then decide the hole looks much better.
- the more minimal the art the more maximum the explanation.
- How vain painting is — we admire the realistic depiction of objects which in their original state we don’t admire at all – Blaise Pascal
- Everyone wants to understand painting. Why don’t they try to understand the singing of the birds? People love the night, a flower, everything which surrounds them without trying to understand them. But painting — that they must understand. – Pablo Picasso
- This is either a forgery or a damn clever original – Frank Sullivan
On Literature:
- There is one good kind of writer — a dead one. – James T. Farrell.
- Literature is mostly about having sex, and not much about having babies; life is the other way round. - David Lodge
- An optimist is one who believes everything he reads on the jacket of a new book.
On Drama / Plays:
- I don’t like propaganda in the theater unless it is disguised so brilliantly that the audience mistakes it for entertainment. - Noel Coward
- Opening night is the night before the play is ready to open – George Jean Nathan
- A playwright is a lay preacher peddling the ideas of his time in popular form – August Strindberg.
On Film / Acting:
- The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder. – Alfred Hitchcock
- The words “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang,” which I saw on an Italian movie poster, are perhaps the briefest statement imaginable of the basic appeal of the movies. – Pauline Kael
- Hollywood – a town that has to be seen to be disbelieved – Walter Winchell
- A celebrity is a person whose name is in everything except the phone directory
- A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well-known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. - Fred Allen
On the Media:
- Newspaper strikes are a relief – Princess Anne
- Journalism is the only job that requires no degrees, no diplomas, and no specialized knowledge of any kind. – Patrick Campbell
- People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with the news. – A.J. Liebling
- Freedom of the press is guaranteed to those who own one. - A.J. Liebling
- If you read alot of books, you’re considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.
On Politics:
- Politics is the conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
- If God had been a Liberal, we wouldn’t have the Ten Commandments — We’d have the Ten Suggestions – Malcom Bradbury
- What the liberal really wants is to bring about change which will not in any way endanger his position. – Stokely Carmichael.
- Fascism is Capitalism in decay – Nikolai Lenin
- Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens — and then everybody disagrees. – Boris Marshalov
On the Sexes:
- What men desire is a virgin who is a whore - Edward Dahlberg
- A woman reading ‘Playboy’ feels a little like a Jew reading a Nazi manual – Gloria Steinem